Best in Show
by Gabs
Summary: Sydney and Nadia host a talent show starring the Men of Alias...


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Best in Show

Written by: Beckage and Gabs, for the January fan fic challenge.

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Disclaimer: They're not ours, we usually don't claim they are. We make no money from this, though we're always open to donations of Nutella.

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GabsNote: My thanks to Rach for helping with some info that I just wouldn't know on my own, as well as suggesting some fic titles for us to use.

With a sudden roar of the crowd, the lights flashed around the arena, and as the audience went insane with anticipation, the light focused on the two people standing in front of the camera, ready to report.

"Hello, my name is Sydney Bristow, and welcome to the 4th annual Men of Alias: Talent Show! I'm here with my co-host, Nadia Santos, and we are ready for some serious hotness!"

"That's right, Sydney," agreed Nadia with a wide smile for the camera. "As you can see, the judge for tonight's event, Dr. Judy Barnett, is making her way to the floor for some better viewing. This should be very exciting for her."

"True, true," agreed Sydney. "Although there has been some question about whether she's biased or not. There have been rumors floating around that she has had... special, quality time... with just about every single contestant!"

Suddenly, the lights in the arena dimmed. Nadia gasped in excitement. "Ooh, it looks like our first contestant is getting ready to come out... I'm told he's going to be modeling some clothing for us... and there he is!"

"Wow!" gasped Sydney as the shockingly sexy Director Kendall, wearing a leopard-print bathrobe, sensually walked down the runway. "What an incredibly sexy man! I'm surprised I haven't jumped him yet! Hold me back, Nadia!"

"Be careful, Syd, it looks like Barnett might lay claim to him first!"

Nadia and Sydney watched on as Barnett leaned forward to salivate over the amazing good looks of said contestant. As Kendall moved closer, all of a sudden he whipped off his bathrobe to reveal...

A bright yellow thong.

And nothing else.

Sydney and Nadia's mouths dropped open in shock. "Dear...Lord..." breathed Nadia. "Am I living? Because I could swear I've died and gone to heaven."

"I'm right with you," agreed Sydney as they both stared open-mouthed in shock at the immensely beautiful sight before them.

With a slight shake of his very nicely thonged ass, along with a very sexy pose for Barnett, Kendall turned and walked off, leaving behind an entire room of people - men and women - salivating over him.

"Wow, what a tough act to follow!" exclaimed Sydney. "I can't wait to see what else this night has in store for us! What an absolutely incredible opening act!"

"Ooh, look... our next contestant seems ready to make an appearance... hold your breath, folks, this is going to be one hell of a ride!"

Meanwhile, backstage, Kendall was having a slight run in with another contestant.

"You _know_ I was planning on wearing a three button red thong, Kendall! How dare you steal my idea?" Sloane demanded tearfully.

"I did no such thing!" Kendall gasped. "I had that thong custom made for me three months ago! Besides… mine was yellow," he snipped as he turned and walked away. Sloane stared after him, jaw agape.

"I'll show you…" he mumbled to himself as he prepared to make his way out.

On stage, Sydney and Nadia announced the next contestant.

"And now, showing off his beautiful voice in the talent portion, please welcome Arvin Sloane!" The crowd went wild as Sloane made a dramatic entrance, wearing black leather pants, a shiny silver shirt, and a black hat. He paused to make eye contact with Barnett, who gave him a slight smile. He then stepped forward, into the spotlight, and burst into song.

"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love…" he sang. Nadia blinked, unsure of how to react to her father singing this particular song. Sydney, on the other hand, knew exactly how to respond.

She promptly fainted.

Nadia quickly knelt by her side, attempting to revive her sister as Sloane continued singing.

"I'm… too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy… it huuuurts," he drawled, proceeding to tear his shirt off to accentuate the words. Sydney, who had finally come to, immediately fainted again.

"And I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, whatcha think about that?" Here, he removed his hat and tossed it to Barnett, who clutched it to her protectively, looking around as if to be sure no one was trying to steal it. Satisfied, she turned her attention back to the performance on stage.

"…and I shake my little tush on the catwalk." Sloane stopped for a moment to turn and demonstrate this particular maneuver, causing Barnett to sigh dreamily.

"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love… love's going to leave me!" With that, he took a deep bow and headed backstage. Barnett turned to gauge the audience response and she worked to cultivate her score for the performance.

"What a lady-killer," Sydney gasped breathlessly as she stood back up.

"And now it's time for our first commercial break. Don't go away, ladies and gentlemen, we still have quite a few more talented and sexy men to get through before this show is over!" Nadia said to the camera.

The scene opened to a deck of cards being shuffled before one, the king of hearts, was pulled out and held up to the camera.

"Are you a fan of magic? If card tricks and disappearing ladies are your thing, we have just the show for you." The deck of cards was lowered to reveal the handsome face of one Eric Weiss, attempting to look mysterious.

"My partner and I have been in business together for almost three days now, and we've got our magic show down to a perfect routine." He tossed the deck of cards over his shoulder and began walking, the camera tracking his movements.

"And better yet, our show is coming to an area near you! That's right, we'll be in and around Los Angeles for the next two weeks- don't miss your chance to catch one spectacular show!" He raised a hand and waved for his partner to join him.

"As just a small preview of the awe-inspiring magic we have knowledge of, allow us to demonstrate one simple trick for you. Sark, pull a quarter out of my ear." Sark appeared next to him, grinning madly and looking pleased with himself.

"Right!" He carefully reached into Eric's left ear and began pulling. Weiss grimaced slightly.

"Sorry… technical difficulties…" Sark mumbled, proceeding to shove Weiss against a wall and begin pulling with both hands, as well as bracing one foot against the wall. Weiss howled in pain as something finally came out. Sark tumbled to the ground, proudly raising his prize above him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Weiss demanded, still in obvious pain. "I told you to pull a damn quarter out, not a screwdriver!" Sark looked at him, baffled.

"It just seemed more impressive." Eric growled at this response.

"Why I oughta…" he raised a fist before recalling that they were on TV. "Uh… as I was saying folks, come catch our show, tomorrow night! It's family friendly, and we take volunteers for each trick." He flashed a pained grin before ducking out of view of the camera lens. The sound of a most thorough beating carried through the air before the commercial cut off, returning to the show.

Sydney and Nadia settled back into their seats as the camera turned on them.

"Whew," started Sydney with a broad smile. "That was quite the exhilarating performance from Arvin Sloane, wouldn't you agree Nadia?"

"Oh yes, most definitely. Even after the break I'm still reeling from that show! I mean...despite the fact that he's my father - you know what? I'm not even gonna go there. Hey, it looks like our next contestant is coming out!"

"You're absolutely right! Although he _does_ have one hell of an act to follow. But as luck would have it, the next contestant is one Michael Vaughn! You know, my _boyfriend_," Sydney drawled, beaming with pride.

Nadia rolled her eyes as Sydney got very distracted by her adolescent thoughts. "Well, with his stunning features and chiseled body, Vaughn is expected to do quite well this year."

Sydney nodded. "Agreed. My _boyfriend_ is... uhh..."

The lights dimmed, and out from the curtain came...

Michael Vaughn, severely lacking in the clothes department, wearing a beanie on his head. And riding around on a unicycle.

Nadia and Sydney blinked, along with the audience staring on in muted surprise. Although Vaughn wouldn't know it, they were watching it like a car wreck or a house fire - disturbing, yet impossible to look away from.

"Um," started Nadia. "It looks like Vaughn is riding a unicycle, Syd."

Sydney winced. "Uh, yeah, thanks Nadia. I can see that. On second thought," she squinted. "Are you sure that it's him?"

Nadia stared blankly. "Of course it's him. What happened to the love and devotion and-"

"Hey, it looks like he's almost done! I hope he gets out before anything bad happens..."

Their commentary was soon drowned out by the waves of "boos" from the audience, unable to retain their silence any longer. Vaughn, utterly shocked by their reaction, lost his concentration and fell off of his unicycle.

"Oh dear," murmured Sydney over the overwhelming cries of the audience.

With the dejected look of a dog with his tail tucked between his legs, Vaughn threw a melancholy glance across the room before heading backstage, dragging his poor unicycle with him.

With Sydney almost ready to suffer a serious breakdown, Nadia quickly spoke for her. "So, a slightly disappointing show from Michael Vaughn, but who knows? He may yet have a chance."

Recovering slightly, but still pouting rather heavily, Sydney shrugged. "I doubt it. No offense to him, but he just couldn't measure up in the slightest to the immensely sexy displays of our other two contestants so far, Director Kendall and Arvin Sloane."

Nadia sighed. "True, true. In any case, there's still more to go!"

As Barnett noted down the score - with somewhat of a grimace, as if Vaughn on a unicycle was not something she had expected to see - Sydney nodded towards her co-host. "That's absolutely correct! Plenty more still to happen, my friends, including last year's defending champion! Everybody at home watching, you'll know what happens as we know what happens! Stay tuned!"

"But first," interrupted Nadia. "A word from our sponsor!"

Jack appeared on screen, wearing a blue suit with a yellow tie, hair slicked back and a smarmy grin on his face.

"Hello, viewers watching at home! Are you enjoying tonight's show? Do you wish you could emulate the style of men such as Director Kendall?" Here, a brief clip of Kendall shaking his stuff earlier in the show flashed across the screen.

"Well... now you can! Drop by Thongs N Things and we can fit you with a sleek and sexy thong of your very own." The camera cut to an image of MIA CIA Director Devlin, looking at himself in a mirror as he tried on a shiny purple thong.

"Or, go for his and hers matching thongs! Group event? We offer marvelous savings and great group discounts!" This shot featured Ariana Kane and McKenas Cole in pretty orange thongs, Ariana also sporting a matching bra. They each offered a cheeky smile and a hearty thumbs-up to the camera.

"So drop by today, get your own custom thongs, and pick up some great tasting fat free milk while you're at it!" The camera panned back to a grinning Jack with a milk mustache. "We're located at the corner of Snowflake St. and :o Blvd. Come on down today!"

Returning from the commercial break, the camera focused on a widely-smiling Sydney and Nadia, with the crowd behind them once again excited, having recovered from Vaughn's less than stellar display.

"Our next contestant is making his way out right now," Sydney announced. "And here he comes: the one, the only… Simon Walker!" Sighing happily, Nadia turned her full attention to the stage, awaiting his appearance.

"I tell you Sydney, there are some simply divine pieces of manflesh in this competition, but this guy gets my vote any day!"

"And I'm sure you're not at all biased by the fact that the two of you were locked in his private dressing room for three full hours before the show, right?" Sydney asked dryly. Nadia looked away and whistled innocently, causing Sydney to roll her eyes.

"Oh, come on Syd, are you denying his hotness?"

"Oh no, believe me, I'm fully aware that he is dead sexy," Sydney replied confidently. Nadia laughed at the comment.

"Fascinating choice of words, Sydney, considering the highly exaggerated rumors of his demise. Ooh, here's Simon now, ready for the talent portion of the competition."

As promised, Simon, clad in black jeans and a white tank top, made his way onstage to the strains of _Blow Me Away_ by Breaking Benjamin.

"Excellent choice of song," Nadia commented. "He definitely blows me away." Sydney nodded in agreement as the duo watched Simon's every move.

He posed dramatically for a moment, before stepping forward, into the light. Looking into the crowd, he offered up a small, sexy smile before turning his eyes to Barnett, who was watching with veiled interest. He took a few light steps forward, then suddenly ripped off his shirt and tossed it to Barnett. And then…

he simply stood there.

"Uh… this is his talent display?" a confused Sydney asked.

"Of course! Being that hot is obviously a talent, Sydney."

"You do have a point there, Nadia. It must take mad skillz to look that good."

"Exactly." After a few more moments of standing there in a superbly hot manner, Simon took a deep bow, and the crowd went wild. He then gave a wink to Barnett and one to Nadia before turning and heading backstage as a grinning Barnett worked to calculate her scores. Meanwhile, Nadia was inching her way to the apron. She had just made it and was about to slip back and chase after Simon when Sydney caught her.

"Hey! Get back here, right now! We still have a show to host!" With a disappointed sigh and a look over her shoulder, Nadia sheepishly made her way back to Sydney's side. "We only have a few contestants left. Then you can go… play in his dressing room again." Nadia grinned.

"Where's the next contestant? Whoever you are, get out here… now!" When there was no indication of anyone else appearing, an aggravated Nadia handed her microphone to Sydney and ran to the curtain, where she promptly began yelling in a unique combination of English, Russian, and Spanish. The camera quickly cut back to a bewildered-looking Sydney.

"Uhh… commercial! Hurry, go to commercial!" With the voice of Nadia still ringing through the arena, the camera quickly panned out before cutting to the next commercial.

Lauren Reed came into view on the screen wearing a large, toothy smile. "Hello there, viewers. I hope you're enjoying this amazing event so far! If you like watching sexy men walk around, then you should watch this years Oscars presentation! It's hosted by an old friend, the _very_ living, totally not dead, Mr. Kazari Bomani!"

The screen focused in on Kazari Bomani, who flashed a foxy grin. "The name is Bomani. Kazari Bomani. And I am proud to be hosting the Oscars this year! It promises to be very exciting, with members of this very competition up for several awards!

"The most intriguing Oscar this year is a new one: Best on-screen couple. Who will win? Director Kendall with Doctor Barnett? Mr. Sloane with Mr. Sark? Marshall with... well... everyone? You'll have to tune in to see!"

With another incredibly sexy grin, Bomani flexed for the camera and walked away, calling out: "Enjoy the rest of the competition!"

Lauren smiled again in front of the screen. "And now back to the show!"

Featuring an incredible display of exciting techno music, the camera panned around the packed arena before settling on the two hosts yet again, whose cheeks stretched into very wide smiles. And honestly, who could blame them for smiling? Hosting a Hot-Men contest? Could anything possibly get any better?

Then again, life can change quite rapidly...

Sydney smiled broadly. "Well, folks, welcome back! Sorry for the technical difficulties a moment ago. Apparently we have a mystery contestant who we weren't expecting. Nadia, who recovered from a severe drooling attack during the break, has the details for us. Nadia?"

"That's right, Syd, there is indeed a mystery contestant. I have all the info right here." Nadia grinned widely at the camera.

Sydney stared. "Um... okay... and?"

"Hmm?"

"The mystery contestant? Who is it?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. The mystery contestant is somebody you might remember, Syd. Everybody... introducing... Noah Hicks!"

Sydney gaped. "Wait...WHAT! No way! He's totally anti-hot! What the hell is he doing here?"

Nadia shrugged as the infamous Noah Hicks strutted out onto the walkway.

"Nooo," groaned Sydney. "This isn't fair! He's supposed to be dead and stuff!"

"You know, Syd," Nadia continued with an air of professionalism. "I used to trust your judgment in men, especially after Simon's run, but honestly! The teeth! May as well nickname him Mr. Buck-Tooth or something. Or Bucky! Yeah, I love that!"

"Nadia, you're not helping," Sydney snapped.

Noah did a little twirl on the stage as the audience stared on mutely. He slowly started dancing his way towards the two announcers.

Sydney glared. "Okay, that's enough. If nobody else is going to stop this evilly hideous man, it's my duty as an American citizen to prevent this."

With the crowd cheering her on, Sydney walked over to Noah and shot him in the face. And since people who get shot in the face rarely seem to die, she decided to shoot him a few more times, just for kicks.

The crowd roared again in approval. Sydney attempted an awkward curtsy before mumbling to herself, "Now I've gotta get this stupid carcass out of here to make way for actual _HOT_ guys. Jeez." She glanced down at his dead and bleeding body. "Ugh, he was sooo fugly. It's about time he's dead."

"No I wasn't," came the dying voice from the man who had been shot several times already in fatal areas. "And I'm not quite dead-"

With another groan, Sydney reached over and dragged his body out of view of the camera.

"Well," started Nadia, looking after Sydney warily. "It looks like the good Dr. Barnett is still marking down a score for Mr. Hicks." She pressed a hand to her earpiece. "According to our sources, she has openly disclosed Noah's score to be -47! Considering how outstanding some of the other competitors have been, it's highly unlikely he even stands a chance-"

All of a sudden a series of multiple shots were heard over the rambunctious screams of the audience.

Nadia looked on, smiling nervously at the camera, as a chipper Sydney rejoined her with a look of contentment on her face. "Well," Syd said happily. "That went very nicely, no?"

"Eh-heh," Nadia forced out. "Okay... um... I think we should probably take another break, don't you?"

Sydney blinked. "Why?"

"You know... killing random people is still a federal offense. Perhaps we should hide the evidence or something?"

Sydney shook her head. "Oh, don't worry. The police already called to thank me for ridding the world of the Fuglyness. It's all good."

Nadia stared back vacantly. "Oh... wow... cool..." Suddenly her head snapped back to the camera. "Well, in any case, let's take another break! It'll give me some more time to visit Siiiiimon..." Her eyes fluttered amorously.

Sydney rolled her eyes.

The screen was dark, with soft eerie music playing in the background. A moment later, a gentle masculine voice rang out of the darkness.

"Are you tired of your life? Do you feel threatened? Have you ever wished you could just… disappear?"

The inky blackness slowly began to recede, leaving the room still in shadows, but with enough light to reveal the outline of what was obviously another gorgeously sexy man.

"Well… now you can." He kept his voice low, as if revealing a secret to a trusted companion. "Join the CIA's witness protection program today!" The room suddenly lit up, revealing a smiling Will Tippin in front of the camera.

"Yes folks, join the WPP and experience the world! For your own protection, the CIA will ship you to such fabulously exotic locations as Wisconsin and Kentucky!" He raised an eyebrow, looking dubious at his own words, but forged on regardless.

"Under witness protection, you'll meet people you never would have known otherwise. And getting in is easy- all you have to do is bear witness to unspeakable crimes, or at the very least have an evil murderous clone as a girlfriend. In this program, you can be anyone you want to be- except, of course, for your true self." Forcing a smile, he finished the end of his pitch.

"So go witness a murder and join today!"

The camera returned to the arena, focusing on a bored and impatient looking Sydney. She rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath, jumping slightly as she realized the show was back on. Offering a quick grin, she turned her back to the camera and reached for her headpiece.

"Nadia! It's back on… get out here now!" She then swiveled back to the camera and smiled again. "Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen watching this fine display from the comfort of your own homes. Aren't our sponsors wonderful? Remember, without them, this show wouldn't be possible." A flustered-looking Nadia suddenly reappeared on stage next to her sister. She offered the camera a sheepish grin.

"Sydney, I couldn't agree more!" she proclaimed enthusiastically.

"Right," Sydney mumbled, rolling her eyes. "Lucky for you, we're now up to our last contestant. Please welcome the reigning champion Sexy Man, two years running… Marshall Flinkman!"

The crowd, familiar with shows of years past, went wild at the mention of Marshall's name. He strutted out a moment later, wearing black Calvin Klein sunglasses and a long black Burberry overcoat. He paused at the entrance, just long enough to point to Sydney and Nadia and give them each a wink. Of course, neither of them caught this, as he was still wearing his sunglasses. As he resumed his strutting out to the center stage, he bumped into a cameraman, who toppled backwards and fell into the crowd. Marshall grimaced, then carefully removed the sunglasses and slipped them into his pocket.

"Not the most auspicious start for the champ," Nadia observed. Sydney waved her off.

"Nah… that's right in line with how he's started his routine in previous years," Sydney stated. Raising an eyebrow, Nadia turned back to the performance to see Marshall removing his overcoat.

After a dramatic pause, he shoved the coat off his shoulder and started dancing in a circle, waving his arms wildly. But by far the most attention-grabbing aspect of his performance had to be his clothing.

"Sydney… is he wearing…" Nadia trailed off, not believing her eyes.

"Yes… he's wearing a leather mini-skirt by Gucci! I'm so jealous!"

"He's got great legs… I'm glad I'm wearing pants tonight Sydney, his gorgeous legs would put mine to shame."

"You're not alone, Nadia," an envious Sydney whispered. In addition to the black leather skirt, Marshall was sporting a red spaghetti-strap tank top and red high heels by Prada. Standing in the limelight, it was now also plain to see that he had applied mascara and eyeliner, but no other makeup. He continued dancing around the stage, his only music being the unceasing cheers of the enamored audience. His dance ended with a curtsy in front of Barnett, who gave him a brief glance before beginning to calculate a score. Marshall straightened up and headed backstage with a nod to Syd and Nadia.

"This is so exciting, Sydney!" Nadia proclaimed.

"I know! We've reached the end of our contest. Barnett is tallying her final scores up, and we should have a winner here in just a few moments!"

"In the meantime, let's go backstage to see the reactions of the contestants, and analyze their chances while we're at it."

As promised, the camera switched backstage, where the group of sexy men waited. The camera focused first on Kendall, who was seated on a stool, leopard-print robe wrapped loosely around his broad shoulders. He and Sloane were still exchanging hostile glances every so often.

"How would you rate his performance, Sydney?" Nadia questioned.

"Well Nadia, he certainly looked ravishing in that lovely yellow thong, and no doubt Barnett was quite taken with him. I'd say he's a very strong contender for winning tonight's contest."

"I couldn't agree more! And Arvin Sloane?" By now the camera had switched over to Sloane, who was in a corner well away from Kendall, standing rigidly… probably because his leather pants were too tight…

"Sloane has a beautiful singing voice, one which he's kept from us for all these years. And the way he accentuated words with actions was simply genius. He also has a great chance to take home the trophy tonight."

The focus had slowly shifted to Vaughn, who was sitting off by himself, clutching his unicycle, with tearstains down his face. Sydney sighed.

"Your opinion, Nadia?"

"Unfortunately Sydney, Vaughn… didn't quite have a strong showing tonight. He wasn't the worst, but I just don't foresee him winning this one." With a sigh, Sydney nodded in agreement.

"That's true… but there's always next year. Care to offer your thoughts on Simon?" Nadia grinned, and opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off by Sydney. "I mean in terms of tonight's competition, nothing else." Nadia looked disappointed, but carried on with her speech as the camera shifted to Simon, leaning against a wall in his unceasingly hot manner.

"I'd say Simon made quite an impression on Dr. Barnett, as well as the audience. Of course, if it was up to me, he would be the winner hands-down."

"Biased much?" Sydney mumbled.

"Yes, actually, I am. But that's ok, because I'm not the judge. GO SIMON!" Nadia yelled exuberantly. Sydney rolled her eyes.

"As for our fifth contestant, Noah Hicks-" at this, the camera moved in search of Noah, but as the cameraman recalled what had become of this competitor, he chose instead to pull out and do a whole group shot of the five surviving men. "well, I'm pleased to say he's the one man who has less of a chance than Vaughn of winning. And I'd also like to make it clear that if he does somehow take this one, someone else will die. Right here. On live TV."

"Well, that's one way to boost ratings," Nadia said nervously. "Now, for the reigning champ Marshall Flinkman, it was quite a show." Here, Marshall, speaking with his fashion consultant Rach, could be seen struggling to take a seat with the confines of his mini-skirt. "His outfit was absolutely dazzling, and his dance was… well, it was something. I'd say he's the odds-on favorite to walk away with the prize tonight, considering his track record in previous competitions… but his one downfall could be his make-up, or lack thereof. Where's the lipstick, the shadow, the blush? And the matching gloves and hat for the Burberry coat? If you're going to go, I say go all out."

"Excellent analysis Nadia! Now… ooh, it seems Barnett has finished… the results are in!" Sydney and Nadia waited with baited breath as Dr. Barnett stood from her judging table and walked on stage. The crowd went wild yet again, and she offered up a knowing smile.

"First, I'd like to thank you the fans for being here tonight- not that it's any sacrifice on your part, sitting here for two hours watching men like these." The crowd cheered loudly, and she waited for them to calm down before continuing. "I'd also like to thank Sydney Bristow and Nadia Santos for being so gracious as to host us tonight, though I suspect they each had their ulterior motives." The sisters each plastered on innocent smiles, and Barnett rolled her eyes. "And lastly, I'd like to thank our contestants. You all… well, most of you did a fabulous job performing tonight, and made it quite difficult to choose a winner. Those who weren't so… overwhelmingly impressive, maybe you should think of a new hobby. Alas, there can only be one winner, and I'd like to crown him right now. If you would all please make your way onstage…"

Kendall and Sloane appeared first, elbowing and shoving in their attempts to get out there before the others. Simon and Marshall weren't far behind them. Vaughn, apparently knowing he had no chance, chose not to even appear onstage, instead staying in back and clutching his unicycle.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Barnett paused and glanced at Marshall, "and those somewhere in between… it's the moment you've all been waiting for." Everyone held their breath as she lifted her clipboard. "The winner of tonight's contest, and the now-reigning champion… Simon Walker!" He jumped up, pumping his fist in the air and running around the stage proudly. Kendall looked deflated, Sloane was in obvious shock… and poor Marshall had burst into tears before running backstage. With evil glares directed at the celebrating champion, Kendall and Sloane followed Marshall back.

"Wow! Simon has managed to upset the defending champion. What an amazing show we had the pleasure of seeing tonight!" Sydney turned to face her sister, who gave a slight nod.

"Yeah yeah yeah…" she quickly tossed her microphone and ran to Simon, jumping into his well-muscled arms. Barnett shrugged to Sydney before she herself went backstage, perhaps to console those who hadn't won…

Raising an eyebrow, Sydney turned to face the camera for the last time.

"Well, that'll do for this year's Men of Alias talent show. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and be sure to tune in again next year to see if Walker retains his title!" With a cheesy grin, she offered up a quick wave as the camera faded to black.

/the end.


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